The Invisible Void
So I was in English class and Hairwoman was hopelessly trying to engage the student to no avail. Amidst the usual flow of terminology that flies right over our heads, there was one word that I caught. It was an interesting-sounding word that I decided to look up. Lucid. According to the dictionary, it means ‘expressed clearly; easy to understand’. How is it that Hairwoman can try to use lucid speech and include the word lucid at the same time?
The class slips away from sight as I see Him passing by the classroom window.
A nightmare broken lose? what was this?
Then the smirking face pulls away from the window and just then Rachel runs up and pulls him close
It all seems so lucid from this vantage point when there is no one around you to obscure and muddle your reality.
Once I am out here though, it feels so cold and starkly desolate. I want to reach out to her, cross this intangible void and warn her before she falls to the depths that I am trying to emerge from.
And I realize for the first time why no one comes out here, why they all wrap themselves up in their own pretend fairytales and soap operas, and why they pretend that this place doesn’t exist.
They fear this place, but it is somewhere different for everyone.
In this place the things that your life was centered around unravel and fall to pieces before your eyes. I felt like no one could possibly understand me in that place. Usually there is one incident that causes you to careen towards
Maybe, for Mr. Neck maybe it would be when he is handicapped and can no longer control the things around him.
For Mr. Freeman, probably when he goes blind and loses the ability of both his hands and can’t save the world (one kid at a time) through his art.
It is impossible to have friends while you’re here and that’s why I had never been there before—up until Him, I had friends.
I’m floating through life barely holding on to the shreds of a previous one that no longer exists.
All I want is to warn Rachel—before it is too late. This impending disaster is one thing that will force me to defy the unwritten, law of silence that lies between the two of us.
The question on my mind still is: How? How do I tell her?
And also…
Why, why, why…did she have to choose Him?
The bell rings and Hairwoman frantically rushes through the directions for the homework as all the students stream through the doorway to be swept off into the crowds and on with their social lives.